Blogger Etiquette: Are We Too Nice or Too Lazy?

I took a week break due to my vacation to Canada. I'll have a new post on Monday.
On a daily basis, many of us leave comments on blogs. Typically, these comments are usually brief and positive.  And when I say positive, I mean cavity inducing sweetness with chocolate fudge and sprinkles.

But, what happens when we get something called constructive feedback or - GASP - a negative comment?

I think most of us would be hurt or even angry and delete the comment.  Why? Because we aren’t used to any sort of criticism.  And, we aren’t ones to give criticism for this reason.

But, maybe we don’t give criticism because we are lazy.

Here's an example.

What you see

Now, let's form a comment based on those really quick thoughts.

What you could post

 What you do post

There is an obvious difference between the two.  Once is thoughtful and constructive and offers ways to make the blog more interesting.  The second is uninspired, but nice.  Sometimes it's hard to say anything more than a sentence or two.

Now, I am not unthankful at all.  Comments are great and make the blogger feel good.  But there are times where the pure nice words are being typed so we can go on one's page.  And we all do this.  We want recognition for our work.

Everything boils down to this - are we too lazy or too nice?  In my opinion, the two go hand in hand.  If one is going to offer constructive suggestions, there has to be a sizable amount to the comment so the blogger isn't offended. And who wants to write a ton of words, right?  So people write the minimal amount which is typically pure praise.  It's a never ending cycle.  And, when there is criticism, there is hurt feelings because this criticism is mistaken as being mean.  Just think about the whole IFB affair - comments disagreed with a post and the creator of the website ended up calling her readers bullies.

In the end, I'd say if we toughened up and gave more thoughtful comments, we would benefit not individually, but as a blogging community. However, that's just me.  What do you think?  Are we lazy and want views or just too nice?

Please remember I am thankful for any and all comments - it's just a trend I've noticed.


  1. Great post! I think I'm sometimes guilty of being too nice and lazy :)
    Sometimes in a hurry, but just want to comment even the short comment to let the blogger know that I'm reading her/his blog and for eg. liking the outfit.

    The interaction between the blogger and readers would definitely be better, if we readers put same amount of effort to the comments than the blogger to her/his post. There could actually be quite good conversations!

  2. This is a great post and definitely recognizable. Like the commenter above me said...Sometimes I just want to let the blogger know I'm reading and might have nothing in particular to say. As for constructive criticism, not everyone appreciates it, so I'd rather not say anything.

    For me personally, you're right, I like to receive comments like the top one most, except maybe the comment about the braid, I'm not sure I would appreciate that. (Maybe reworded into: I think your hair would look nice in a braid?) maybe thats nitpicking though.

    You do have a good point though and more people should do it (myself included)!

  3. Great post. I think we are all being very supportive of each other as we all do blogging with passion and love. There is a lot of effort and time behind each post. I always give honest comments focusing on things I like. Though they are quick at times, true.


  4. In the blogger community most of those people on our followers are people we really dont personally know. So considering that, we dont know how these bloggers accept our criticisms. not every blogger is open minded enough to accept flaws in a post that took them overnight to create the photos, edit, draft what to say only to be badly criticized. for me Im already grateful for someone to leave a short friendly comment in my blog. its a pleasure for me for them to take time to click on my post and say something nice about it so I wont complain for a simple comment such as "gorgeous!" thats already flattering and makes me feel good that somebody appreciates my work. of course we cant please everyone but in blogging, as much as possible we would like to create a friendly environment. maybe negative comments can be emailed so as not to embarrass the blogger. I got this comment just yesterday. read it word for word and tell me if you would want other readers to read this:

    "Yes, sadly I can only criticize as an anon. Your blog is quite tasteless. The layout itself makes me want to close this tab and not pay attention any of its contents. Learn some design basics, please. I haven't the right to judge you as a person/blogger/whatever, however you exude this very cheap vibe. Blatantly speaking: remove the Comic Sans marquee, choose readable fonts (AND OF THE SAME TYPEFACE FAMILY) and fix your layout!!! There are vertical ads below this post WTF. I took this time to comment especially for you. If you would be so kind to consider it."

    check my blog and judge if this comment makes any sense at all. I dont think this is friendly and its creating a very negative vibe which i dont want to share with my readers. i blog because i want people to feel good when they read my blog and be inspired and not to be shared with negativity. So in my opinion,we should be thankful for a short brief nice comment.


  5. very nice blog! I follow you! I hope you follow me back

  6. Great Post. I follow your Blog now.
    Please follow me.


  7. Seriously a great topic to bring up. I get both sweet, thoughtful comments from my dedicated readers and "I like your blog, please follow mine" type comments from bloggers who I have never heard from before. Obviously, I appreciate both sort of comments, because anyone who takes the time to stop by and read my blog is always appreciated. Even the small comments remind me that I have a supportive audience who are interested.

    But yes, to answer your question. I think we can both be too lazy and too nice. I make every attempt I can to read through a post and leave a comment that not only references the outfit, but also what the blogger had to write. I think it means more when you show that you not only took the time to comment, but actually read the post first. I think these are how the more authentic, meaningful reader-blogger relationships are formed. It just makes it more real. And the conversations are always better that way!

    Thanks for sharing this topic though. It's really interesting to think about. People seem to think that the blogging world has lost its "community" and maybe more thoughtful comments could help turn that around. :)


  8. Well, honestly, for the most part I just comment on the outfits I DO like. Or if I don't like the whole outfit I just comment about a certain item. I know what it takes to dress nicely, take the camera, take a bunch of pictures, and then go through them to see which one can be properly fixed. It takes you at least half hour. So I appreciate that effort.
    What I do is that I do not really answer that second type of comments. I just reply to the 'thoughtful' comments. Why? Because they are the ones that took the time to read my post and did not just looked at the photos.
    However, I must confess that sometimes I just don't know what to answer. Sometimes I read the post but I just can't think of anything, so I just comment on the photos.
    So, like you, I think we are too lazy AND too nice. Although I have written some negative comments, I just do it when I think it is really necessary. Most of the time I just avoid talking about what I don't like and comment on what I like:)

    Great topic and thoughts by the way!

  9. Such truely post ! Firstly I think that we are too lazy to read a whole note.. and secondly we are thinking that if we'll critise someone, she/he would write the same about us [?]
    I don't know.. I try to write short but constructive comments.


  10. yes i know what you mean! i think we are probably all guilty of this to some extent i think it can be a give and a take, if you try and respond to everyone it can be near impossible to read everyone's full length posts, but i do try to pick up on things i have in common with people and i would never be rude with criticism but i will say if something is not my personal taste if they ask for an opinion. but it is a nice reminder to put a little more thought in sometimes and i appreciate that!


  11. So ture, but the only thing you can do as a blogger is to leave sincere comments on others blogs :)

  12. Ally, I'm so glad you brought this up! I find commenting etiquette to be a totally weird concept that I can't quite wrap my brain around. Why do I comment on blogs? Usually it's because I generally like the outfit/post and have something to say about it. Sometimes it's just to be nice because I feel obligated to return comments if someone writes me something nice on my blog. I'd label the latter as "being too nice." However, I do think that there are TONS of bloggers out there who are "lazy commenters." Saying "cute dress, check out my blog" is such a thoughtless thing to say.

    However, in regards to "constructive commenting," I don't think we're being lazy. For me personally, if I don't like a post I just won't comment on it. Simple as that. I think it's everyone's personal decision to wear whatever they want to wear. I definitely wouldn't like it if someone told me they didn't like my outfit. Obviously I like it, or else I wouldn't put it on my body. And it's not my place to tell other people what I don't like about their outfit (unless if they specifically solicit advice).

    And as for the comments you put on your own picture - I'd never think any of those things. I don't notice what you do with your hair. And I don't think I've ever worn a belt with shorts in my life. That outfit is your style and I am in no place to pick it apart. I think that what we see wrong with our own outfits is just our own insecurities. I do however think your dog is adorable.

    How's this for a thoughtful comment? ;)

  13. U know that everyone hurry up and that's why comment looks like look ;P
    Yes,of course u have adorable dog ;) and the beautiful colour of hair ;) This outfit is cute ;)

  14. I do understand what you are saying and am myself completely guilty of being lazy in my commenting. When I have time, I do try to leave more thoughtful comments, but for those of us who work multiple jobs and have a lot going on throughout the day/night, it is a nice way of connecting off the bat. I usually click on people's blogs who leave me comments and if I like their blog, I follow or comment back. From there, as you continue to read each others blogs, the more you feel connected and compelled to write a more thoughtful and engaging comments. There are so many blogs now and it is tough not only to gain a readership, but also to connect with other bloggers. But thank you for your honesty in this post and I LOVE it! And thanks for stopping by my blog as well =)

    xx, alisia e

  15. Thanks for this post! I think this can help a lot of other bloggers, I look forward to seeing more from you! xx emileeanne

  16. It's hard to write a detailed comment on every blog you follow. Like other people above who have left comments I like to write something - even if its a few words- on as many peoples blogs as I can so that they know I follow and read their posts everyday. Sadly, I don't have a lot of time to write as many comments as I'd like. So it's a choice between writing detailed comments on a few blogs or writing shorter ones on a lot of blogs. Either way I try to make my comment genuine and thoughtful.
    As for negative comments I figure what's the point? If I don't like something I won't comment. And if a blogger specifically asks for genuine criticism on an outfit I will give it.

  17. Thank you for writing this! I try to keep it real without going too far like if I don't like a certain style or pattern. But sometimes, fashion bloggers post outfits or whatever that are so extreme and I'm not sure if I'm just not cool enough or fashionable to get it or maybe it really is just ugly.

  18. i totally feel you! and i have to say that sometimes I do the same thing. I prefer to leave longer comments better than just cute outfit love this look but sometimes when I'm in a rush to catch up on people's blog post i try to make things go faster by leaving something short and sweet! i think when we get busy it's hard to actually read a whole post and comment saying more than just cute look. i definitely see your point and i thnk we should all be more conscious of this. Great post <3

    Alexa <3

  19. Yeah, I know what you mean. But sometimes people don't know what to write and they want to leave something, but this "check out my blog" is so annoying, I know.
    Anyway, you look very good and you have amazing and unique style of posting pictures. Really like this :)
    PS: Thank you for comment on my blog.

  20. I totally agree! Even though I truly do appreciate everyone for making the effort to leave a comment, the empty comments just consisting of "Would you like to follow each other? Please check out my blog!" seem a little tasteless.
    When I'm in a hurry I don't really read the entire post but leave comments for bloggers whose outfits I really like. :)

  21. such a great post! sometimes i feel the same way; i love all the nice comments i get but i wonder if they are real... i think that most of us are commenting in a hurry and that's why most of the comments are super short and not very deep :)


    Fashion Fractions

  22. I love your blog! This post is awesome!
    Check out my blog, write your opinion and maybe...follow?
    Where are you from?

  23. Interesting take! I had been thinking about the whole commenting issue. It bugs me when someone is obviously making a comment for PR purposes versus actually making a comment on a post they liked or disliked.

    http://www.TheCurvyElle.com (I thought about not posting this, just because of what I said! haha ;))

  24. Wow, what a conversation starter of a post and some great responses to it!! I'm so glad you wrote about this because I think it's a super interesting topic. I agree with what Miranda (shopandtwirl) posted up there - and I often think that some of the short comments that say things like "love your top!" and a link to their blog are more self-serving to their writer than anything else.

    It's easy to type out "Great outfit! http....", copy it, and then blast a bunch of blogs with it - and it's applicable everywhere. While I appreciate each comment, I appreciate those that are thoughtful and post-specific a little bit more. And I especially hate the "Great blog!! Follow me and I'll follow you!" I think that's so rude. C'mon now - follow me because you like my content, not because I followed you. I only want to follow blogs I truly enjoy reading and so should you! I'm totally cool with you leaving your blog link for me to find you, but write something specific about my post!

    I know for me, personally, if I don't like something, I don't comment. There have been a few times where I've looked at someone's post and thought "UGH!!!" about what they're wearing - but it would be super rude of me to even try and constructively tell them I think their outfit is ugly, haha. To each their own - who am I to judge what you feel good in?

    It's one of those things where I think, if you don't like it, you don't have to read it or comment on it. Like a commenter up above (Anmari I believe) who had a really rude comment that she deleted - that commenter didn't need to say those things - if they don't like the style or layout or content of Anmari's blog, no one is forcing them to read it. You tend to read what you like, and comment in the same way.

    I am a blogger who knows that I am still learning how to curate a stylish outfit. I often put on stuff and take pictures and go "Ugh!" about myself. When that happens, I make an effort to tell my readers that it's ok to offer some constructive criticism, and to help me decide what could be altered or added on a particular outfit to make it work. I know I won't get that kind of constructive criticism without telling readers it's ok to be critical! :)

    For me - I really try to be thoughtful in my comments. I always make a point to read the post and not just look at the pictures, because I want people to know I care about content just as much as a fabulously styled outfit. I think that sometimes people don't comment like that because, yes, they're lazy - but I try not to be that person!!

  25. Well this is maybe the most thought-through post I read on a blog in quite a while. To be honest, I am a person who wants to be nice. Others may say I am too nice. Well, that's just who I am. Take it or leave it. I treat people nice, because I want to be treated that way in return too. As I have learned much too often, it doesn't work this way. Believe me, I know what I am talking about, I am twice your age :) . Still, I think if you want to write your honest opinion in a blog-comment you can do it - nicely, no need to be abrupt or rude, right? And yes, you should maybe consider a braid. Or two. :) Have a great weekend. (Your post was so refreshing in this Blogger-dryland, really).

  26. ahaha a part of me finds this so hilarious cus it's so true...i think a part of me shall focus a little more of how I comment too- great read nevertheless!


  27. Hello!
    I have given you a Liebster blog Award. :)
    Check it out.



  28. Totally agree! :)


  29. I completely agree about constructive criticism thing...I love it when people comment with positive things and helpful suggestions!!! It makes me a better blogger. But I think I'm always afraid to comment with anything constructive just because I don't want it to be misinterpreted...so sometimes I just opt for a comment like your second example :P Shame on me for being afraid, I guess!!! But better too positive than too negative maybe? -- I got a really nasty, unfair, and very critical commment on my blog once and it really isn't fun to be on the receiving end of that kind of thing.

    <3 Cambria

  30. This is a really interesting post. I would love the comments section on my blog to become more of a forum--a space for people to interact and have a conversation about the topic at hand--that is why I try to reply to every comment someone leaves (and to show how much I appreciate the feedback). I would welcome thoughtful criticism. That said, I do not generally create outfit posts on my blog and I would imagine that people might feel more comfortable critically commenting on my work than an outfit post were body politics and more personal feelings become involved.

    I see what people are saying about leaving a quick comment to show they are reading and engaged with content and I think that is a really great perspective to bring to commenting etiquette. I will say that in terms of personal commenting habits I often find it really hard to write something insightful on an outfit post. I personally respond better to editorials--but I still want to show a particular blogger that I am engaging with their work. I struggle with how to do this without writing a comment that will just be viewed as another in a long list of "great outfit!" comments.

  31. I love when commenters leave suggestions about pieces I styled, something like that dress would look great with (blank) ! As long as it's not plain mean I'm all okay with it !

    My Blog - A Pretty Nest

  32. Nice outfit...I like your smile.;-D
    Maybe follow each other on BLOGLOVIN and GFC???
    My Blog

  33. I think we are mostly lazy...
    you've done a great post!! i think it is very true and you pointed out the facts!

    check out my blog :P

  34. Hello dear, interesting post indeed about bloggers: too nice or too lazy?

    Anyway I nominated you for the LIEBSTER AWARD!
    you can see it here:


  35. Great post. I tend to stand by the "treat others as you would like to be treated" quote, so Im often hesitant to post any criticism unless Ive built a repore with the blogger. I never want to come off mean or uneducated about a blogger, their history and style. so, I guess that would be part lazy; not wanting to do the cram sesh of research.

    On the other token, fashion blogs are image heavy, often with 3 sentences, 2 of which share information about who they are wearing. For these types of posts I think its nice to share positive reviews even its just a sentence. So long as you have actually taken something away from the images and make a relevant statement, I think any blogger would be happy.

    Sidenote: Top bloggers who have 150 comments per post, the majority of the posts are a generic "cute top" followed by a link. I much prefer blogs like yours that add insight and begin a conversation.


    Brynn Snow of D2G Apparel: Fashion Illustration, Trends and Techniques


    ... and bamm! that's how it's done! I like when people leave comments but sometimes, you just wonder whether or not they've actually read what you wrote :( or are they just copy and pasting the same things on everyone's blog. It may be a good approach to get first time visits but you're not sure whether they'd ever come back! As for the constructive aspect, it doesn't work that well when you don't know the person yet. Bottom line is that honesty is much appreciated but still, be nice, but not overwhelmingly sweet - it would end us sounding fake :S

    And I've just realised that you've put me on your blogroll!! thank you so much Ally :)!! It's such an honour!!



  37. This is a really interesting post! I would say that most bloggers are lazy not just sweet, that's just my opinion from what I've seen around me - I have some close friends that also blog.
    I usually prefer to take my time and answer all comments in the best way possible, because I'm really interested in the people behind the blogs as well. I'd rather wait a few days before answering than just writing "wow! great!" This is how I managed to make a small community around my blog with whom I really like exchanging comments, I feel that we're sort of virtual blogger friends and it's a really nice feeling. Much more interesting and rewarding than receiving one-worded comments with a link towards a blog (I also answer to these comments, I don't discriminate haha!)

  38. I don't think it's about being too nice or lazy, but a quick way for bloggers to promote their own blogs by more often than not saying some generic like "So cute," "I love ..." etc and leaving their blog link and/or check out my blog before rushing off to the next blog to paste the same thing. When I get comments like those, sometimes I'd delete them as I don't find them sincere comments and I would rather have a constructive comment instead.


  39. Good post! I think some of it is out of laziness. And there are bloggers who are afraid of posting criticism on someone else's work, especially if they're linked to it. But I agree with other commenters that it's generally about spreading a link. A lot of comments I receive are bland, i.e. "Love this!" so they really could be posted on any post. Of course, they're followed by a link.
    I do post short and sweet comments, so I'm somewhat guilty, but I always try to link my comments to the specific post instead of saying something generic and unspecific.
    I'm always thankful when I receive thoughtful comments. I received one long comment on a post a few weeks ago and loved the criticism so much that I emailed the writer directly!


    (Now, I'll be a hypocrite and attach my link, but only if you want to find me.)

  40. Great post and you are all right sometime people included me are too lazy and only highlight what is good and just said: "Love the top!" and maybe with a little bit more of effort we can make better comments,comments that are constructive and jet nice! love the post, it's nice that someone care about it and shared it
    But sometimes is very practical short comments haha oh well~ xx


  41. I completely agree with you. I think a lot of it boils down to laziness - and it's exactly as you say: if you're going to give criticism, you need to balance it out with some compliments (at least, I think so), and it takes a long time to construct that long of a comment.

    I always try to leave comments that explain WHY I think something works, or WHY I think their comment is funny. I know that when I get comments, I want someone to pinpoint exactly what they enjoyed and didn't enjoy in my post, so I can try and go with the flow of what readers like.

    Glad you wrote this - and I think there's a change in the blogosphere a-comin'. Too few people are content enough with the status quo, and your observation is a perfect example.


  42. This post made me smile and laugh out loud. I haven't left a negative/constructive criticism comment yet, but I have wanted to do so! In fact treading endless overly sweet, hearts and flowers comments are too much. Ok, so this post was spot on!

  43. The fact is that most of us bloggers consider our blogs like our children. We put so much time and effort and love into it, that it seems cruel to say something negative. I appreciate all comments good and bad and I do learn from the bad ones.

    That being said.............please visit my site, www.hautecurvywoman.com, and if you like it, could you please do so on my FB or Blogloving.

    Glad I found you.
    Great site!


  44. This is a great post. In my opinion it's more about being nice to each other. I think if you post something on your blog you are satisfied with it so why should I tell you " it would be better if you style it this way". Personal style is very subjective and I don't even criticize my own friends unless they ask me about my opinion. So unless I have something nice to say I would be quiet.


  45. what a great post. I usually post nice comments, if I don't have anything nice to say about the outfit I'll comment the hairstyle or the make up, sometimes even the background of the picture.Just because I don't want to offend the choice of the blogger, at the end I'm not her jury.But here comes the paradox . I prefer getting constructive critique. but how do I know that I'm not gonna get miss judged if I do the same.
    this post left me with millions ???? in my head.

    Love Love Elena

  46. Although I have started my blog just one week ago, I can really feel what you describe. The people comment because they kind of need to. I don't know, but it seems as the more comments you write, the more traffic you get. I can't prove this statement because I'm not into this blogging thing for a long enough time. If they all are soooo interested in fashion as they write on their blogs - why they don't have got the time to take a real look at the outfit and honour the blogger for it's outfit? Oh no, as I've seen there is a Hype-button on lookbook and when you press it, it's enough. I hope you opened some people their eyes. Thank you,

    Julia Nellija - www.absolutelyenvogue.de

  47. This is a brilliant post, well done. All too often we hide behind our 'nice comments' on each other's blogs, and every single one of us is guilty of it to try and encourage views. Very few bloggers would dare to broach the subject so good on you for bringing it up - I often think the exact same thing!

    Em xx


  48. I've just typed a 500 word comment on your post about bloggers' image so I don't think I'd classify myself as a frivolous commenter. Yet, the other day, I left a thank you note on your post about art and just said I loved your picks. Now, that doesn't make me lazy. Sometimes just one word comes to my mind when I read/see something, those are the times when I leave just a short sentence describing my feelings at the given moment. Other times, I read the post but don't comment at all if I see ten people have said the same as I would.
    Another fact is that nowadays constructive criticism doesn't exist. People either praise you (because they want follow/comment-backs) or offend without any real reason (they're jealous of your looks and they feel your blog it better then theirs).
    With all of this being said, I have to say I appreciate all the feedback but still wish people would start leaving comments for the right reasons instead of self promoting all the time.